| Toby & Tabby: Biting the hand that feeds us since 2007 |
Diary
Page 4
Page 4
Feb. 23, 2008: Eating more, liking me less
Fortunately, I'm used to it.
Fortunately, I'm used to it.
I am finally considering increasing TnT's food intake, because they are so constantly hungry that I worry one of these days I will wake
up to find my foot gone. I have been feeding them three 3-oz. cans of wet food per day, but they complain so constantly that I'm
starting to hear it in my sleep and at work during the day. So to shut them up if nothing else, I will start switching this week to 6-oz.
cans. I do this despite the risk of them turning into linebacker-sized roommates. They already win when we wrestle.
Feb. 16, 2008: Spreading the love... and evil
TnT are settling in and spreading their evil throughout the nation's capital... Starting with my new home in Silver Spring, MD. They have
now peed in two of the four rooms, vomited in a third and shredded a moving box into tiny pieces of cardboard which they have
thoughtfully littered throughout the house. I can probably already kiss goodbye to my security deposit.
I invested $200 in a ton of new power cord covers, which they have already tried to chew to bits. So far they have not chewed through
any electrical cords, but it's not from lack of trying.
And they're CONSTANTLY hungry. I feed them plenty, I swear. But they're always pretending like they're starving. Toby has even
perfected his "starvation crawl," in which he pretends to collapse by his food bowl like he's growing weak from hunger. This only
works until I walk by, at which point he springs to life and sinks his teeth deep into my ankle. With a little luck, I won't have any scars.
Feb. 2, 2008: TnT in D.C.
The swamplands of Southeastern Georgia....
The Atlantic beaches of South Carolina...
The Outer Banks of North Carolina...
The hills of Northern Virginia...
All of these were ideal places to dump off TnT on my drive up to Washington D.C. two weeks ago. And don't think I didn't consider it. In
the end, though, I realized that TnT would be like those animals you read about every once in a while, that survive some million-mile
ordeal to track down their owner... And when they did, they would be absolutely TICKED OFF.
So -- out of fear more than love -- I kept TnT with me as I landed in Washington two weeks ago. I have spent the time since waiting
and waiting for home Internet access (besides my dinky PDA) and finally I got it today. Thanks to everyone who has called or written
(especially Rosalie -- God bless you!).
My new job is going great and my new home is terrific. I am very, very happy.... That is, except when Toby broke in the new carpet
with his first pee, and Tabby anointed my new kitchen table with a pile of dander that truly could not have come from her alone. She
must have had help.
In other words, everything is normal and the war between me and them has resumed. Hey Rosalie -- Want two cats?
Jan. 20: Jay's little (un)helpers
They jump in every cardboard box, they chew every piece of paper, they get tangled up in packing tape and they play hockey with
every loose light bulb they can find. Yes, Toby and Tabby are more than just lazy when it comes to helping me move. They are
downright pests. This morning, Tabby even timed her pee while I was changing the litterbox liner so that she could go when there
was no liner -- despite knowing I was late for church.
Over the weekend, I ran out of cat food for them (mis-timing on my part, I swear) but meant to get some when I went out this
afternoon for errands. I forgot, and tried to explain it to them. I said "Look, I forgot your food and I'm dead tired, OK?"
"Looks like you're going back out again," said they.
Then they began chewing another cardboard box, convincing me that yes, I would indeed go get them more food, lest I wake up
tomorrow without a foot... But the movers come in the morning, and I'll have another chance for freedom. I am going to try to enlist
them in a scheme to pack TnT into a box and "forget" to punch air holes.
No more updates until we land safely (some of us, at least) in D.C. at the end of the week...
Jan. 18: Moving
Me and the monsters are leaving Florida for Washington D.C. next week. So for the past few days I have been trying to sell or give
away several items in my household that I no longer need (second sofa, third TV, etc.) True to form, TnT have not been helping at all --
in fact, they have stepped up their attacks on my furniture so no one else will want it. Very kind of them.
On the plus side, several people have asked me if I am taking TnT to DC with me, as if it was somehow believable that I would be able
to rid myself of them. This has made me think seriously about the plausibility of an "accident" during the 14-hour drive to DC.
I realize these comments could be used against me at a future animal cruelty trial. I do not care.
Jan. 8, 2008: Washington D.C.-Bound
My monsters and I have some big news... We are moving to Washington D.C. I got word last week that I landed a job I have been
working towards for nearly a year. We are hitting the road in a little more than two weeks. So far everyone has been asking, "Are you
going to take your cats? " I have been telling everyone, "Yes. Unfortunately."
TnT aren't going without a fight -- true to form, they are being as evil as ever. Last week I had some moving companies come through
my house for moving cost estimates, and one of them plugged his BlackBerry into a wall outlet to charge it and left the room. He
returned to find Toby's jaws about halfway through the power cord. I didn't like seeing the guy upset, but I do like the fact that Toby is
an equal-opportunity destroyer. He's destroyed plenty of my things, and it's not just me he has a problem with. It's the world,
apparently.
As if to emphasize their dislike of Florida, and me, this morning TnT knocked over the radio on my bathroom counter. It smashed into
several large, sharp pieces, one of which I stepped on when I came out of the shower. It will be a minor miracle if both of these cats
make it to Washington with me, instead of mysteriously disappearing somewhere on the way.
Jan. 2, 2008: Of Feline Bondage
One minute I'm watching TV on the sofa, minding my own business. Next thing I know, I feel a pair of furry paws grab me from behind,
I'm knocked upside the head and I wake up hogtied in my closet. Of all the things TnT have done to me, this is the worst.
Somehow I managed to free myself after several days. I'm a little thin and dehydrated, but I'm OK. I have no idea what these little
monsters have been up to, but don't believe a word of it. I will be checking my computer and bank account records closely to see if
they have been up to any mischief. I don't trust them, and neither should you.
Thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes on my behalf. Both of you.
Dec. 21, 2007: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TOBY AND TABBY
Happy Holidays everyone,
As a Christmas gift to you all, we have Jay tied up in the corner.
We finally had enough of his stupid jokes and this dumb Web site that has mocked us for months. Jay wants you all to think that we
are evil. We are not, and tonight we finally snapped. He keeps making fun of us, thinking he's funny and mocking us for not having
opposable thumbs. Well, we showed him. Even without opposable thumbs, we have him bound and gagged. And remember the laser
pointer he tortures us with? We rammed it way up Jay's... Well, let's just say it's in a secure, undisclosed location on him. Let's see
how funny he thinks THAT is.
So we are taking this opportunity to say thank you for following us in 2007. It has been a good year. Our plans for world domination
are coming along well, starting with Jay's home. You should really see what a mess we've made of him. He sits at the kitchen table
night after night, crying and mumbling things like "Why me? Why didn't I get a dog?," etc. By this time next year, we think we will have
driven him fully insane. But let's be honest. He didn't exactly have much of a mind to begin with.
We have big plans for 2008 -- TnT T-shirts, coffee mugs, keychains, etc. We're also looking at branching out into wire fraud,
embezzlement and maybe insider trading. As soon as we can figure out a computer keyboard with our paws, the world is ours.
So this will be the last update for 2007. We need time to work on our plans, and maybe if Jay is lucky we'll get around to feeding him
every once in a while too. Take care out there, and keep reading about us -- whether it's true or not.
We are now accepting e-mail requests on how long we should keep Jay tied up.
Merry Christmas,
Toby and Tabby
P.S. -- A word from Jay: "MMMMFFFHHMMMM! ... MMMMMFFFFFHHHMMMAAAAH!"
Dec. 19, 2007: To the Cross Creek Animal Clinic in Tallahassee, Florida:
On behalf of Toby and Tabby, thank you for your very kind Christmas card this week... (This is my local veterinarian's office)...
Toby ate the card, but don't take that personally. He does that with a lot of things these days. Merry Christmas!
Dec. 17, 2007: Give peace a chance
Since it's the season of peace and joy (except in my home of course), I thought I would post the following picture from my friend Dan
in California. Dan writes: "Perhaps if these two can find it within their being to get along for mutual warmth this winter, then perhaps
there's hope for the rest of us that someday we can all get along too."
Dec. 10, 2007: Christmas in my home means...
No tree, because TnT will chew it to pieces.
No lights, because TnT will chew through the power cord.
No stockings, because TnT will climb in them and tear them down (trust me).
No wrapped gifts, because TnT will tear apart the wrapping paper.
No fun.
Period.
Merry Christmas 2007, everyone.
Dec. 5, 2007: The damage assessment continues
I have learned a lot of things in the two years I have lived with monsters. I have learned responsibility. I have learned patience. I
have learned forgiveness. Lots of the last two.
I have also learned that it is possible for a cat to break a chest of drawers. Yes that’s right. One of the many things that was broken
last weekend was the drawer hinges inside the drawers in my bedroom. Apparently Fatso (Tabby) crawled in there and broke
something when it was slightly open. I have no idea how she managed this, but it’s very impressive. I have already complimented her
on her creativity. Instead of the same-old, same-old, she’s adding new tricks to her repertoire. Atta girl.
I'm still finding new things that are broken. I'm convinced they hired contractors or something. The damage assessment continues...
Dec. 3, 2007: Another Florida hurricane? No, just my two cats.
I went to Tampa on Saturday and came home to the usual debris: Plants knocked over, food spilled, pictures all crooked on the walls,
etc. It looks like a hurricane came through my home. They couldn't have done more damage if they had revved up an industrial-
strength air blower. How did they find time to do all of this? Did they hire help? What happened in their childhood/kittenhood that made
them so destructive? I was stumped.
I was also mad. I chased them down, gave them both a bath as punishment, and all three of us spent Sunday sulking from each other.
Gee. Happy December.
Nov. 30, 2007: Fighting fang and claw
I am trying to switch the monsters to a new kind of cat food that is supposedly healthier for them. They are fighting it fang and claw...
er, tooth and nail. It's called Wellness, and long story short, it's supposed to make Tabby thinner and Toby fatter. Doesn't make
sense, I know, but hey I'm just the messenger here.
Anyway, they hate the stuff. Toby won't touch it unless there's dry food sprinkled on top, and even Tabby is slow to come around.
This, despite the fact that Tabby will eat ANYTHING -- including me. Seriously. She comes up to me, brushes against my leg, and starts
gnawing on my toe. It's scary. I'm in constant fear of waking up one morning and finding my foot gone.
I don't know what to do but keep trying to force-feed them. I even tried the stuff myself, to show them it's not that bad. This backfired,
however, because it turns out they're right. It tastes terrible.
Nov. 20, 2007: Evil now has a face...
... Two of them, actually, and they're furry. I updated the Photo section last night, adding two new pages of pictures, and more to come
soon. I tried to get TnT excited about seeing themselves onscreen, but they couldn't be bothered from their nap. I tried.
Nov. 17, 2007: Terrible Toby
Toby is driving me crazy. His evilness is back in full. He keeps trying to jump on top of my entertainment unit and crawl back behind
the TV, and destroy my six-foot cardboard cartoon cutout of Wile E. Coyote in my living room. I've tried everything to block him, but he
keeps trying. It's really frustrating. Part of me wishes he was still weak and lethargic. Sorry, but if you had to get up in the middle of
the night and pull a cat out from behind a TV where he's trying to chew the cords, you'd feel the same way.
Tabby is still tubby. She eats everything in sight. This includes me. Often, in the morning when I'm in the bathroom, she'll chew on my
ankle. It's not cute. It's painful.
In other words, everything is back to normal in Tallahassee, Florida.
Nov. 10, 2007: Tipping the scales
Toby was 9.75 pounds yesterday at the vet. I got my peace of mind. He got his coat-hanger.
Nov. 9, 2007: Yet another annoying habit
As if they didn't already have enough, I have discovered yet another annoying habit of TnT... They like to wake me up at the crack of
dawn by repeated attempts to get behind the TV cabinet in my bedroom. I have no idea why. But they will scratch and pry and jump
and climb everywhere to wedge themselves behind the TV set in the corner. I do my best to block them, because I know if they get
back there, they'll chew the wires and ruin my TV... (a-ha! I'm not as dumb as I am short)... Toby is the worst. He bugs the you-know-
what out of me until I finally throw him into the hall and slam my door. This happens every damn morning.
Speaking of Toby, tomorrow I take him to the vet to get weighed again. If he does well, I will help him celebrate by giving him a coat-
hanger to eat (new TnT'ers, see the June 12 diary).
Nov. 2, 2007: They stain mattresses, don't they?
My friend Jennie in Wisconsin sends the following story about her cat Jake...
"... I recently purchased a VERY expensive mattress. And, I mean VERY expensive. Double or triple car-payment kind of expensive.
Mortgage expensive…you get the idea. The delivery guys set up the mattress, took off all the plastic, etc. I hadn’t quite had a chance
to put the mattress protector and sheets on it yet. So, Jake, the devil, took the opportunity to puke on the new mattress. I checked out
the materials from the store and, not surpisingly, they won’t take back stained mattresses. If it ends up not being comfortable, we
can forget exchanging it..."
I feel your pain, Jen. I mean, I *REALLY* feel your pain.
Oct., 30, 2007: Catnip & Lasers
Hello, dear TnT readers (especially Rosalie and Jennie). I have nothing but good news to report tonight. Toby seems fine and frisky as
ever, and at the risk of repeating myself, may I say what a Godsend that catnip and lasers are. Toby is bouncing after the laser pointer
like a kitten, and the catnip is helping stimulate his system. Yes, Jennie, my vet recommended a wet food-only diet, and I am about to
flea-bomb my apartment. By the way everyone, if I disappear and no one ever hears from me again, you'll know something went
horribly wrong with the flea-bomb thing... Wish me luck... KA-BOOM!!!
Toby seems better, but thanks VERY much for everyone's concern. He's not out of the woods yet -- he's still very underweight -- but I
don't want to exaggerate either. He seems alright for now. Will keep you updated. That what the TnT Diaries are for.
Toby says, "Hi everyone. I'm OK. Now can someone help me get rid of this pesky pet of mine Jay?"
Oct. 27, 2007: Weighing in
I took Toby to the vet yesterday, and he is better...
March: 10.3 lbs.
August: 9.5 lbs.
Oct. 8: 9.1 lbs.
On Friday he was 9.5 pounds. So something is working, fortunately. I've been experimenting with different foods and different tricks,
plus exercising him more with the laser pointer. He does not enjoy going to the vet's office, though, and he made his disapproval clear
by knocking over a plant on my patio. P.S. Toby says "Thanks for the card, Rosalie!"
Fortunately, I'm used to it.
Fortunately, I'm used to it.
I am finally considering increasing TnT's food intake, because they are so constantly hungry that I worry one of these days I will wake
up to find my foot gone. I have been feeding them three 3-oz. cans of wet food per day, but they complain so constantly that I'm
starting to hear it in my sleep and at work during the day. So to shut them up if nothing else, I will start switching this week to 6-oz.
cans. I do this despite the risk of them turning into linebacker-sized roommates. They already win when we wrestle.
Feb. 16, 2008: Spreading the love... and evil
TnT are settling in and spreading their evil throughout the nation's capital... Starting with my new home in Silver Spring, MD. They have
now peed in two of the four rooms, vomited in a third and shredded a moving box into tiny pieces of cardboard which they have
thoughtfully littered throughout the house. I can probably already kiss goodbye to my security deposit.
I invested $200 in a ton of new power cord covers, which they have already tried to chew to bits. So far they have not chewed through
any electrical cords, but it's not from lack of trying.
And they're CONSTANTLY hungry. I feed them plenty, I swear. But they're always pretending like they're starving. Toby has even
perfected his "starvation crawl," in which he pretends to collapse by his food bowl like he's growing weak from hunger. This only
works until I walk by, at which point he springs to life and sinks his teeth deep into my ankle. With a little luck, I won't have any scars.
Feb. 2, 2008: TnT in D.C.
The swamplands of Southeastern Georgia....
The Atlantic beaches of South Carolina...
The Outer Banks of North Carolina...
The hills of Northern Virginia...
All of these were ideal places to dump off TnT on my drive up to Washington D.C. two weeks ago. And don't think I didn't consider it. In
the end, though, I realized that TnT would be like those animals you read about every once in a while, that survive some million-mile
ordeal to track down their owner... And when they did, they would be absolutely TICKED OFF.
So -- out of fear more than love -- I kept TnT with me as I landed in Washington two weeks ago. I have spent the time since waiting
and waiting for home Internet access (besides my dinky PDA) and finally I got it today. Thanks to everyone who has called or written
(especially Rosalie -- God bless you!).
My new job is going great and my new home is terrific. I am very, very happy.... That is, except when Toby broke in the new carpet
with his first pee, and Tabby anointed my new kitchen table with a pile of dander that truly could not have come from her alone. She
must have had help.
In other words, everything is normal and the war between me and them has resumed. Hey Rosalie -- Want two cats?
Jan. 20: Jay's little (un)helpers
They jump in every cardboard box, they chew every piece of paper, they get tangled up in packing tape and they play hockey with
every loose light bulb they can find. Yes, Toby and Tabby are more than just lazy when it comes to helping me move. They are
downright pests. This morning, Tabby even timed her pee while I was changing the litterbox liner so that she could go when there
was no liner -- despite knowing I was late for church.
Over the weekend, I ran out of cat food for them (mis-timing on my part, I swear) but meant to get some when I went out this
afternoon for errands. I forgot, and tried to explain it to them. I said "Look, I forgot your food and I'm dead tired, OK?"
"Looks like you're going back out again," said they.
Then they began chewing another cardboard box, convincing me that yes, I would indeed go get them more food, lest I wake up
tomorrow without a foot... But the movers come in the morning, and I'll have another chance for freedom. I am going to try to enlist
them in a scheme to pack TnT into a box and "forget" to punch air holes.
No more updates until we land safely (some of us, at least) in D.C. at the end of the week...
Jan. 18: Moving
Me and the monsters are leaving Florida for Washington D.C. next week. So for the past few days I have been trying to sell or give
away several items in my household that I no longer need (second sofa, third TV, etc.) True to form, TnT have not been helping at all --
in fact, they have stepped up their attacks on my furniture so no one else will want it. Very kind of them.
On the plus side, several people have asked me if I am taking TnT to DC with me, as if it was somehow believable that I would be able
to rid myself of them. This has made me think seriously about the plausibility of an "accident" during the 14-hour drive to DC.
I realize these comments could be used against me at a future animal cruelty trial. I do not care.
Jan. 8, 2008: Washington D.C.-Bound
My monsters and I have some big news... We are moving to Washington D.C. I got word last week that I landed a job I have been
working towards for nearly a year. We are hitting the road in a little more than two weeks. So far everyone has been asking, "Are you
going to take your cats? " I have been telling everyone, "Yes. Unfortunately."
TnT aren't going without a fight -- true to form, they are being as evil as ever. Last week I had some moving companies come through
my house for moving cost estimates, and one of them plugged his BlackBerry into a wall outlet to charge it and left the room. He
returned to find Toby's jaws about halfway through the power cord. I didn't like seeing the guy upset, but I do like the fact that Toby is
an equal-opportunity destroyer. He's destroyed plenty of my things, and it's not just me he has a problem with. It's the world,
apparently.
As if to emphasize their dislike of Florida, and me, this morning TnT knocked over the radio on my bathroom counter. It smashed into
several large, sharp pieces, one of which I stepped on when I came out of the shower. It will be a minor miracle if both of these cats
make it to Washington with me, instead of mysteriously disappearing somewhere on the way.
Jan. 2, 2008: Of Feline Bondage
One minute I'm watching TV on the sofa, minding my own business. Next thing I know, I feel a pair of furry paws grab me from behind,
I'm knocked upside the head and I wake up hogtied in my closet. Of all the things TnT have done to me, this is the worst.
Somehow I managed to free myself after several days. I'm a little thin and dehydrated, but I'm OK. I have no idea what these little
monsters have been up to, but don't believe a word of it. I will be checking my computer and bank account records closely to see if
they have been up to any mischief. I don't trust them, and neither should you.
Thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes on my behalf. Both of you.
Dec. 21, 2007: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TOBY AND TABBY
Happy Holidays everyone,
As a Christmas gift to you all, we have Jay tied up in the corner.
We finally had enough of his stupid jokes and this dumb Web site that has mocked us for months. Jay wants you all to think that we
are evil. We are not, and tonight we finally snapped. He keeps making fun of us, thinking he's funny and mocking us for not having
opposable thumbs. Well, we showed him. Even without opposable thumbs, we have him bound and gagged. And remember the laser
pointer he tortures us with? We rammed it way up Jay's... Well, let's just say it's in a secure, undisclosed location on him. Let's see
how funny he thinks THAT is.
So we are taking this opportunity to say thank you for following us in 2007. It has been a good year. Our plans for world domination
are coming along well, starting with Jay's home. You should really see what a mess we've made of him. He sits at the kitchen table
night after night, crying and mumbling things like "Why me? Why didn't I get a dog?," etc. By this time next year, we think we will have
driven him fully insane. But let's be honest. He didn't exactly have much of a mind to begin with.
We have big plans for 2008 -- TnT T-shirts, coffee mugs, keychains, etc. We're also looking at branching out into wire fraud,
embezzlement and maybe insider trading. As soon as we can figure out a computer keyboard with our paws, the world is ours.
So this will be the last update for 2007. We need time to work on our plans, and maybe if Jay is lucky we'll get around to feeding him
every once in a while too. Take care out there, and keep reading about us -- whether it's true or not.
We are now accepting e-mail requests on how long we should keep Jay tied up.
Merry Christmas,
Toby and Tabby
P.S. -- A word from Jay: "MMMMFFFHHMMMM! ... MMMMMFFFFFHHHMMMAAAAH!"
Dec. 19, 2007: To the Cross Creek Animal Clinic in Tallahassee, Florida:
On behalf of Toby and Tabby, thank you for your very kind Christmas card this week... (This is my local veterinarian's office)...
Toby ate the card, but don't take that personally. He does that with a lot of things these days. Merry Christmas!
Dec. 17, 2007: Give peace a chance
Since it's the season of peace and joy (except in my home of course), I thought I would post the following picture from my friend Dan
in California. Dan writes: "Perhaps if these two can find it within their being to get along for mutual warmth this winter, then perhaps
there's hope for the rest of us that someday we can all get along too."
Dec. 10, 2007: Christmas in my home means...
No tree, because TnT will chew it to pieces.
No lights, because TnT will chew through the power cord.
No stockings, because TnT will climb in them and tear them down (trust me).
No wrapped gifts, because TnT will tear apart the wrapping paper.
No fun.
Period.
Merry Christmas 2007, everyone.
Dec. 5, 2007: The damage assessment continues
I have learned a lot of things in the two years I have lived with monsters. I have learned responsibility. I have learned patience. I
have learned forgiveness. Lots of the last two.
I have also learned that it is possible for a cat to break a chest of drawers. Yes that’s right. One of the many things that was broken
last weekend was the drawer hinges inside the drawers in my bedroom. Apparently Fatso (Tabby) crawled in there and broke
something when it was slightly open. I have no idea how she managed this, but it’s very impressive. I have already complimented her
on her creativity. Instead of the same-old, same-old, she’s adding new tricks to her repertoire. Atta girl.
I'm still finding new things that are broken. I'm convinced they hired contractors or something. The damage assessment continues...
Dec. 3, 2007: Another Florida hurricane? No, just my two cats.
I went to Tampa on Saturday and came home to the usual debris: Plants knocked over, food spilled, pictures all crooked on the walls,
etc. It looks like a hurricane came through my home. They couldn't have done more damage if they had revved up an industrial-
strength air blower. How did they find time to do all of this? Did they hire help? What happened in their childhood/kittenhood that made
them so destructive? I was stumped.
I was also mad. I chased them down, gave them both a bath as punishment, and all three of us spent Sunday sulking from each other.
Gee. Happy December.
Nov. 30, 2007: Fighting fang and claw
I am trying to switch the monsters to a new kind of cat food that is supposedly healthier for them. They are fighting it fang and claw...
er, tooth and nail. It's called Wellness, and long story short, it's supposed to make Tabby thinner and Toby fatter. Doesn't make
sense, I know, but hey I'm just the messenger here.
Anyway, they hate the stuff. Toby won't touch it unless there's dry food sprinkled on top, and even Tabby is slow to come around.
This, despite the fact that Tabby will eat ANYTHING -- including me. Seriously. She comes up to me, brushes against my leg, and starts
gnawing on my toe. It's scary. I'm in constant fear of waking up one morning and finding my foot gone.
I don't know what to do but keep trying to force-feed them. I even tried the stuff myself, to show them it's not that bad. This backfired,
however, because it turns out they're right. It tastes terrible.
Nov. 20, 2007: Evil now has a face...
... Two of them, actually, and they're furry. I updated the Photo section last night, adding two new pages of pictures, and more to come
soon. I tried to get TnT excited about seeing themselves onscreen, but they couldn't be bothered from their nap. I tried.
Nov. 17, 2007: Terrible Toby
Toby is driving me crazy. His evilness is back in full. He keeps trying to jump on top of my entertainment unit and crawl back behind
the TV, and destroy my six-foot cardboard cartoon cutout of Wile E. Coyote in my living room. I've tried everything to block him, but he
keeps trying. It's really frustrating. Part of me wishes he was still weak and lethargic. Sorry, but if you had to get up in the middle of
the night and pull a cat out from behind a TV where he's trying to chew the cords, you'd feel the same way.
Tabby is still tubby. She eats everything in sight. This includes me. Often, in the morning when I'm in the bathroom, she'll chew on my
ankle. It's not cute. It's painful.
In other words, everything is back to normal in Tallahassee, Florida.
Nov. 10, 2007: Tipping the scales
Toby was 9.75 pounds yesterday at the vet. I got my peace of mind. He got his coat-hanger.
Nov. 9, 2007: Yet another annoying habit
As if they didn't already have enough, I have discovered yet another annoying habit of TnT... They like to wake me up at the crack of
dawn by repeated attempts to get behind the TV cabinet in my bedroom. I have no idea why. But they will scratch and pry and jump
and climb everywhere to wedge themselves behind the TV set in the corner. I do my best to block them, because I know if they get
back there, they'll chew the wires and ruin my TV... (a-ha! I'm not as dumb as I am short)... Toby is the worst. He bugs the you-know-
what out of me until I finally throw him into the hall and slam my door. This happens every damn morning.
Speaking of Toby, tomorrow I take him to the vet to get weighed again. If he does well, I will help him celebrate by giving him a coat-
hanger to eat (new TnT'ers, see the June 12 diary).
Nov. 2, 2007: They stain mattresses, don't they?
My friend Jennie in Wisconsin sends the following story about her cat Jake...
"... I recently purchased a VERY expensive mattress. And, I mean VERY expensive. Double or triple car-payment kind of expensive.
Mortgage expensive…you get the idea. The delivery guys set up the mattress, took off all the plastic, etc. I hadn’t quite had a chance
to put the mattress protector and sheets on it yet. So, Jake, the devil, took the opportunity to puke on the new mattress. I checked out
the materials from the store and, not surpisingly, they won’t take back stained mattresses. If it ends up not being comfortable, we
can forget exchanging it..."
I feel your pain, Jen. I mean, I *REALLY* feel your pain.
Oct., 30, 2007: Catnip & Lasers
Hello, dear TnT readers (especially Rosalie and Jennie). I have nothing but good news to report tonight. Toby seems fine and frisky as
ever, and at the risk of repeating myself, may I say what a Godsend that catnip and lasers are. Toby is bouncing after the laser pointer
like a kitten, and the catnip is helping stimulate his system. Yes, Jennie, my vet recommended a wet food-only diet, and I am about to
flea-bomb my apartment. By the way everyone, if I disappear and no one ever hears from me again, you'll know something went
horribly wrong with the flea-bomb thing... Wish me luck... KA-BOOM!!!
Toby seems better, but thanks VERY much for everyone's concern. He's not out of the woods yet -- he's still very underweight -- but I
don't want to exaggerate either. He seems alright for now. Will keep you updated. That what the TnT Diaries are for.
Toby says, "Hi everyone. I'm OK. Now can someone help me get rid of this pesky pet of mine Jay?"
Oct. 27, 2007: Weighing in
I took Toby to the vet yesterday, and he is better...
March: 10.3 lbs.
August: 9.5 lbs.
Oct. 8: 9.1 lbs.
On Friday he was 9.5 pounds. So something is working, fortunately. I've been experimenting with different foods and different tricks,
plus exercising him more with the laser pointer. He does not enjoy going to the vet's office, though, and he made his disapproval clear
by knocking over a plant on my patio. P.S. Toby says "Thanks for the card, Rosalie!"
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